Out on the Ice

I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. That would be ridiculous. Every kid growing up in America dreams of becoming a professional athlete at the top of his game. I had everything I could have wanted. Yet why do I find myself writing my blog long after midnight in a cold house with a full ashtray and empty glass by my side? Let me explain.

All your life, you dream of making it big. Then, after years and years of hard work, after countless hours on the ice and in the weight room, you finally get your break. I cannot tell you how it feels to skate out onto the ice and hear your name being called out by 20,000 screaming fans. You skate toward your net, and you realize this is it, this is what you have waited all your life for.

You reach your net and you look around. Your heart is beating a mile a minute. Mess up now, and this is the end of your career. Get hot, and you can retire a multi-millionaire before you turn thirty. You file thoughts of your career away and look around some more.

You see all the fans. All the kids holding programs with your picture in them. You pray that you will not let these kids down. You start your stretching routine and lean over in the pads and wonder how many of those kids will put your picture up on their wall. You file these thoughts away and look at the other team doing their warm-ups.

You recognize most of them. Some have been playing for years. In fact, when you were in high school, you worshipped these guys. Now, in a few minutes they will try and make you look bad by sliding a little piece of rubber by you. Nothing personal, but they get their millions by scoring goals, your task is just to stop them. Once again, you file the thought away. These guys are now not individuals to you. They are the other team.

The starters go to their positions and the ref leans over to drop the puck. Your last thoughts are for your teammates. At the end of the day, these are the guys you are playing for. You desperately don't want to let them down. Whatever heroics they perform on the ice can be ruined if you don't keep your net free of pucks. Your guys can get real hot and score all over the place. But if you let in just one more goal than your guys score, it's all for nothing.

The ref drops the puck and the game begins. You are in the zone now. All thoughts on stopping that puck. The first shot comes in high over your left leg. In a second you snap your glove over it and hear the whistle.

Now you know why I miss it so much.